I held my baby boy one last time five months ago. To live in this reality is an utter nightmare. When the pain fells unbearable, I like to remember how my family and friends provide love and support. This love makes the pain a little more bearable.
My family and friends have acted like my angels on earth. My words can’t express enough for what they done for me. Their love in action may seem simple but the truth is these actions have made such a huge impact. For this I must say:
For being there in the worst moment of my husband and my lives.
For coming over two days later even though I could barely get out of bed.
For going with me to pick out his flowers for the memorial and then arriving early to set up for the service.
For being at his memorial service and listening to my rambling story.
For dropping everything to be with me when the thought of being alone was terrifying.
For bringing us food that lasted weeks.
For sending cards, emails and text messages checking in on me.
For chatting on the phone and over video for hours.
For taking me out to lunch and then wine tasting.
For having me over for pumpkin bread and coffee.
For binge watching re-runs of shows that were considered ‘safe’.
For driving around aimlessly with me to talk, or cry in silence.
For playing endless rounds of Skip-Bo with me.
For going on walks with me.
For going to watch the eagles with me.
For lending me your heart to cry to.
For crying with me so I didn’t feel alone.
For making me the sugariest treat after hours of crying.
For helping me keep my son’s memory alive by reading and sharing my blog posts.
For working on the design for my website’s logo.
For drawing a picture of my son for my website because sharing his ‘real’ picture(s) hurts too much.
For hand drawing pictures for a blog post.
For saying what you feel in your heart.
For listening to me tell stories about my son, ones I have already told a dozen times. These stories are all I have and all I will ever have.
For loving me when I am not really me.
This unconditional love has gotten me through some pretty dark moments.
To my family and friends who are with me on this journey called grief, I want to say Thank You from the bottom of my heart.
Because of you I have been able to start living life a little more each day.