Theodore –

Did you see the wave of light last night?

I hope so desperately that all the candles lit up heaven. I hope that you and all of your friends felt the love from us on earth.

In my head, the candle Daddy and I lit for you shined the brightest so you knew which one was for you. When you looked down you saw the shriveling pumpkin all lit up with Mommy’s nickname for you. I am sorry the pumpkin didn’t keep very well. Next year Daddy and I won’t carve it so early. Daddy and I worked as a team to carve that for you – he drew the picture and I did the carving. That will be our tradition for this day.

Did see where we lit the pumpkin? That tree was a gift from all of our family – your grandma and grandpa, Aunt Ashlee and Uncle Ian, great-grandma and Danny B, great aunts and uncles, and all of your second cousins got together to pick out that tree. It is planted at a park in Carol Stream where Mommy spent so much of her childhood days. I am looking forward to seeing the flowers bloom on it.

Did you see the stone sitting in front? It just so happened that the plaque was placed at the tree on October 13^th, just two days before Wave of Light. How lucky is that!! Daddy and I decided to engrave it with the chorus of ‘One Eagles Wings’ – the song we played at your memorial and one of the songs I sang to you while you were in my belly.

The plaque also states “Our love will live here, until we meet again.” Oh how I wish with everything in me that you were here. That our love was in the same place you are.  I want nothing more in life than for you to be alive and with us. That instead of sharing pictures of our lit candles we were sharing picture updates with family and friends of our growing boy. That we were sharing funny stories of what you have learned or gotten into.

I wish instead of Daddy asking me what you would be doing at 8 months old he was witnessing it.

I wish we were learning together how to raise you.

Just as the plaque says “Our love will live here, until we meet again.”

Love,

Mommy