It’s starting to all feel like a dream. He feels so far away at this point I can barely remember what it felt like to hold him or be near him. I fight to keep these memories vivid- memories are all I have and all I will ever have. 

I frequently go to his tree to be with him.

This song by Snow Patrol came on the other day while I was on a flight. It hits me in all the feels. 

All this feels strange and untrue And I won’t waste a minute without you

My bones ache, my skin feels cold And I’m getting so tired and so old

The anger swells in my guts And I won’t feel these slices and cuts I want so much to open your eyes’ Cause I need you to look into mine

Tell me that you’ll open your eyes

Tell me that you’ll open your eyes

Tell me that you’ll open your eyes

Tell me that you’ll open your eyes

Get up, get out, get away from these liars’ Cause they don’t get your soul or your fire

Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine

And we’ll walk from this dark room for the last time

Every minute from this minute now We can do what we like anywhere I want so much to open your eyes ‘Cause I need you to look into mine

Tell me that you’ll open your eyes

Tell me that you’ll open your eyes

Tell me that you’ll open your eyes

Tell me that you’ll open your eyes

Tell me that you’ll open your eyes

Tell me that you’ll open your eyes

Tell me that you’ll open your eyes

Tell me that you’ll open your eyes All this feels strange and untrue And I won’t waste a minute without you