I thought I would lighten the mood by sharing a few daydreams I had while pregnant.

Nighttime Feeding Daydream

The nighttime feeding routine was a daydream I had a lot.

I figured Tek would sleep in a bassinet next to the bed the first few weeks. When he would cry I could easily reach over to get him and feed him in bed. The plan was for my husband to work from home for a few weeks; he would be there for me and also nighttime feedings wouldn’t be horribly disruptive.

I thought that I would do the nighttime feedings in Tek’s room when my husband went back to work; that way my he could stay asleep.

I daydreamed about that alone time with my baby in the middle of the night being all he needed.

I was 100% ready for being overly tired and a part of me was actually excited about it.

While he ate, I would rock him and hold his little hand in mine.

The bigger my belly got the more eager I became (as most new moms do).

I could feel the love in my daydreams; it felt unreal that I would be the person my baby boy needed most for nourishment.

Getting the Day Started Daydream

The concept of me being a stay at home mom wasn’t feasible for us. I would constantly think about how getting ready for work would go. I figured that would be different depending on the day but most days this is how it played out in my mind:

I would get up early to feed Tek, clean him up and get him ready for the day.

After that, I would go downstairs make my coffee to sip on while I got ready.

I registered for this really awesome owl swing, I had planned to place Tek in that near the bathroom while I showered, blow dried my air and put on makeup.

I daydreamed of sneaking in little kisses and tickles.

I daydreamed of singing to him and acting goofy to make him happy.

Once we were both set for the day, I would pack up the diaper bag and head out to daycare.

I was ecstatic about the daycare we picked out. It was brand new, not even opened when we chose it.

I had plans to take a ‘Tek’s first day of daycare’ photo out front by the sign. I most likely would be crying like a baby as he slept in my arms or maybe we would both be crying; none the less I was excited about taking that picture.

I dreamt about being the glowing new mom, showing off the mid-day updates the daycare would send with coworkers.

I was so proud of the idea that I would be a working mom; juggling a career and my family.

I wish to stay in my daydreams. I wish to stay there so I can feel that hope and excitement again.  

2 thoughts on “I Wish to Stay in My Daydreams”

  1. Hi Mallory,

    You will feel that excitement again. Dreams do become reality. Believe that you will experience motherhood again.

    Love you, Aunt Debbie

  2. Mallory, your daydreams you imagined for you and TEK sound like the perfect mommy-to-be plans.
    It’s perfectly okay to still be imagining and wondering what life as a new mommy would have been like. Hear me when I tell you that I witnessed, in you my daughter, the most loving and nurturing mother who would have done absolutely anything for her baby…and you did.

    You have a very strong loving mother-son bond with TEK and nothing can take that away. Your son has proved to you that you have all the love and nurturing it takes to be a mom. Realize those feelings and hold on tight to those daydreams because they will help you get through the sad times. You have a heart full of love to give and those dreams bring promise of hope for your future.

    With unconditional love, Mom

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