Happy Birthday in Heaven my sweet boy.
I wish more than anything you could physically be here with us to celebrate you properly. Saying these words doesn’t express this wish enough… I want you here with every fiber of my being. The longing I feel in my arms and heart each day is incredibly intense. I would do anything to be able to have another minute holding you.
You not being here physically isn’t stopping me from celebrating you. It may look crazy to people that I still am and that’s ok. I am your mommy and will do everything I can to honor you on your birthday and everyday. I will forever celebrate January 28th because it was one of the best days of my life. I often think about the first time I got to hold you in my arms. I love remembering how awe struck and in love I was with you. It makes me laugh to think that all I said to you was “hi” and immediately told your daddy I want to do “that” again … “that” being give birth to you. I would do it all again for you.
Tek, this year your birthday balloon theme is choo choo trains. I’m so embarrassed to admit that I had no idea what my 2 year old son would have been into. I thought about asking people who have or have had a 2 year old but it was painful to admit that I as a mother didn’t know so I Googled it. I tossed around a few of the ideas and landed on trains because choo choo rhymes with 2 which is cute. The balloons looked larger when not inflated and the letters are so small they don’t have enough helium to float (lol) but we made it work with the help of tape. Overall they look pretty good and I eventually started to love them. It’s hard to explain but the green trains float weird, like they are deflating but aren’t, it’s kind of funny.
Tonight we will have a chocolate fudge cake with a train on it. The cake is so perfect.
I have so much I want to say but am determined to keep this celebratory so I will end with:
Skinnamarinky dinky dink skinnamarinky doo, I love you, I love you in the morning and in the afternoon. I love you in the evening and underneath the moon. Skinnamarinky dinky dink skinnamarinky do, I love you.
Happy Birthday Theodore.